<![CDATA[REFRAMED: Paid Subscribers]]>https://www.reframedself.com/s/reframed-paidhttps://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!w2ZX!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9d5e8a60-a021-49cf-a4a2-e4e2ffafd8fa_500x500.pngREFRAMED: Paid Subscribershttps://www.reframedself.com/s/reframed-paidSubstackSat, 18 Apr 2026 14:45:37 GMT<![CDATA[The Trans Thing and Left-Leaning Lesbian Tension]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/the-trans-thing-and-left-leaninghttps://www.reframedself.com/p/the-trans-thing-and-left-leaningSat, 15 Mar 2025 15:47:52 GMTI'm a lesbian in tension. Tension between loyalty to my community and the current political framework. I'm a Gen X'er who came out in the early 90's when gays and lesbians were still labeled as pedophiles and perverts. We had to stick together - whether it was all living in the same small part of a larger city or tipping the gay waiter a little more. The last 10 years of acceptance has made me soft but now, I'm torn. How do I keeping fighting real discrimination and, hold onto reason and logic?

Lesbian Avengers protest at the Alice Austen House, July 31, 1994, Courtesy of Saskia Scheffer

I'm a psychologist and have counseled transfolk for decades. I was fortunate enough to get in-depth training and experience as part of a grad school consortium in Chicago. If you'd asked me back then if transwomen were women, I would have said, "Hell yeah they are!" But this new era of deeper questioning has forced into a new corner. Are transwomen biological women? That depends on what you mean by biological. Do they have XY chromosomes? Usually not. Were they bathed in feminizing hormones in the womb? Maybe. What it always came down to for me was respect. I'll respect your pronouns, gender presentation, gender fluidity, and call you by whatever name you want. I'll even defend you when you're not around. But you've got to extend the same courtesy to me.

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]]><![CDATA[The Complete Toolbox ]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/the-complete-toolboxhttps://www.reframedself.com/p/the-complete-toolboxWed, 05 Feb 2025 15:29:53 GMT

Welcome to The Toolbox—where psychology isn’t just something to read about, but something you can actually use.

This section of REFRAMED is all about practical strategies for navigating real life—whet…

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]]><![CDATA[Let’s Get Curious: Paid Subscribers, Pick My Next Deep Dive 🧠]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/lets-get-curious-paid-subscribershttps://www.reframedself.com/p/lets-get-curious-paid-subscribersWed, 05 Feb 2025 15:05:46 GMT

If you’ve been here a while, you know I love digging into the strange, fascinating, and deeply human corners of psychology—the places where science, experience, and self-reflection collide. And now, …

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]]><![CDATA[REFRAMED: The Grief Overachiever]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/reframed-the-grief-overachiever-archivehttps://www.reframedself.com/p/reframed-the-grief-overachiever-archiveWed, 05 Feb 2025 14:45:05 GMT

Welcome to Grief Overachiever—where I take loss, turn it over, squint at it, and try to make sense of what it looks like from a different angle. This is the space where I write about grief that linge…

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]]><![CDATA[Get REFRAMED - Ask a Psychologist]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/get-reframed-ask-a-psychologisthttps://www.reframedself.com/p/get-reframed-ask-a-psychologistWed, 05 Feb 2025 14:17:41 GMT

Welcome to Get REFRAMED, an advice column for the curious, the stuck, and anyone trying to make sense of this whole being-human thing. Like Dear Sugars, you may not always relate to the question, but…

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]]><![CDATA[It's not an obsession if you're coping.]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/its-not-an-obsession-if-youre-copinghttps://www.reframedself.com/p/its-not-an-obsession-if-youre-copingTue, 04 Feb 2025 21:50:02 GMT
Photo by Andre Sebastian on Unsplash

Since my wife died in February, I’ve transformed into an obsessive recluse. I’ve always been a weirdo but now I’m a grieving weirdo. It takes eccentricity to a who…

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]]><![CDATA[What I'd Rather Say But Don't]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/what-id-rather-say-but-donthttps://www.reframedself.com/p/what-id-rather-say-but-dontTue, 04 Feb 2025 21:40:53 GMT
Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

Ever had an imaginary fight with someone in your head? With the perfect mic-drop, your witty one liners can shut down the assholes left and right. My wife and I shared …

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]]><![CDATA[11 self care tips (that are barely working!)]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/11-self-care-tips-that-are-barelyhttps://www.reframedself.com/p/11-self-care-tips-that-are-barelyTue, 04 Feb 2025 21:25:21 GMT
Photo by Markus Winkler on Unsplash

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]]><![CDATA[Widow Dating Profiles - What A Catch!]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/widow-dating-profiles-what-a-catchhttps://www.reframedself.com/p/widow-dating-profiles-what-a-catchTue, 04 Feb 2025 21:19:38 GMT
Photo by Adrian Swancar on Unsplash

A hot topic among a certain set of widows is dating. Now, I’m nowhere close to this abhorrent experience and may never be. However, there’s a part of me that’s a li…

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]]><![CDATA[Attitudes of Platitudes]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/attitudes-of-platitudeshttps://www.reframedself.com/p/attitudes-of-platitudesTue, 04 Feb 2025 21:11:40 GMT
Photo Credit: Gabe Pierce

I’m guilty of it and so are you. C’mon, we can admit it together - sometimes a platitude is all we can think of to say to someone who is grieving. He’s in a better place. G…

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]]><![CDATA[The Lusty World of Lesbian Widows]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/the-lusty-world-of-lesbian-widowshttps://www.reframedself.com/p/the-lusty-world-of-lesbian-widowsTue, 04 Feb 2025 18:55:17 GMT
Photo by Alexander Grey on Unsplash (no, we don’t know each other)

I’m really frustrated that COVID has gotten in the way of my grief achievements. I figured 3 months in, I’d be doing the television t…

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]]><![CDATA[Grief Entrepreneur]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/grief-entrepreneurhttps://www.reframedself.com/p/grief-entrepreneurTue, 04 Feb 2025 18:29:06 GMT
Photo Credit: Laura Walsh

I love to invent stuff and grief gives me quite the creative boost. All that thinking and theorizing, ya know? The whys and what-if’s? My biggest hurdle is lack of follow thr…

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]]><![CDATA[Take Your Emotional Temperature]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/strategy-toolbox-take-your-emotionalhttps://www.reframedself.com/p/strategy-toolbox-take-your-emotionalTue, 07 Jan 2025 13:56:32 GMT
Photo by Immo Wegmann on Unsplash

REFRAMED is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

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]]><![CDATA[A Psychologist Goes on a Mushroom Trip – Gems from an Unlocked Mind]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/a-psychologist-goes-on-a-mushroomhttps://www.reframedself.com/p/a-psychologist-goes-on-a-mushroomThu, 26 Dec 2024 17:48:17 GMT
Photo by Benjamin Balázs on Unsplash

Let’s establish some facts. First, we’re talking about psychedelic, psilocybin mushrooms – the kind that alter reality for a few hours. In Colorado where I am, it’s legal to grow, possess, use and give them away. Oregon and California have similar but slightly more restrictive rules. In Illinois, it’s legal to buy grow bags and spores…but once they turn into dark little mushrooms, it’s murky.

How Mushrooms Work in the Brain

I did a ton of research before stepping into this magical world. When it comes to mind altering substances, I’m about as straitlaced as it gets. I paid a lot in student loans for my brain so I wasn’t going to risk messing it all up. To boot, I’m a drug and alcohol counselor so I had to be sure. But, stuck and out of ideas on how to move my life forward, I was at the end of my rope. Something had to change, and I sensed it had to be big.

REFRAMED is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a paid subscriber.

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]]><![CDATA[Breaking the Rules of Psychology]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/breaking-the-rules-of-psychology-6a5aef5900c1https://www.reframedself.com/p/breaking-the-rules-of-psychology-6a5aef5900c1Mon, 30 Aug 2021 23:22:32 GMT
Photo Credit: Dev Asangbam

The psychologist rule: Avoid personal disclosure in public unless processed “enough” — meaning only events intellectualized and emotionally contained. Don’t fill the space b…

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]]><![CDATA[Everything That Died]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/everything-that-died-a1d770b7e3f3https://www.reframedself.com/p/everything-that-died-a1d770b7e3f3Sat, 21 Aug 2021 18:58:15 GMT
Photo Credit: Colin Lloyd

Did you notice the world stopped turning on a random afternoon in February last year? I know you’re busy and may have missed it. It was everyone’s worst nightmare and now, mi…

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]]><![CDATA[Sharing with Strangers: Talking about it helps grief]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/sharing-your-business-with-strangers-how-talking-helps-grief-d4683218e25ehttps://www.reframedself.com/p/sharing-your-business-with-strangers-how-talking-helps-grief-d4683218e25eWed, 17 Jun 2020 21:18:23 GMT
All photos captured from Blind Melon’s NoRain music video.

I don’t generally like people or publicly sharing my business with strangers. I’m not what you’d call a joiner. Usually, I’m pretty self cont…

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]]><![CDATA[Why Understanding Narcissists Empowers You]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/https-medium-com-drlauralwalsh-why-understanding-narcissists-empowers-you-6cc164054410https://www.reframedself.com/p/https-medium-com-drlauralwalsh-why-understanding-narcissists-empowers-you-6cc164054410Thu, 28 Nov 2019 14:55:18 GMTAs a clinical psychologist in private practice, I see a surprising amount of people who either grew up in a toxic environment, married into one, or both. A typical session is peppered with anxiety and fear, self doubt, blame, and sometimes righteous anger at the offending narcissist. It’s magnificently gratifying for me to help them walk the path to self empowerment and sanity. Starting with a blunt, “Ok, so first we have to understand your ________ (husband/ wife/ mom/ dad/ sibling/ boss/ etc), and then we can deal with that pesky unfair feeling that’s been plaguing you,” — yeah, that wouldn’t generally go over so well.

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]]><![CDATA[Lighten Up Your Mood with a Happy Light]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/beyond-depression-therapy-lights-e7093306a307https://www.reframedself.com/p/beyond-depression-therapy-lights-e7093306a307Sat, 12 Jan 2019 15:21:34 GMT

Starting out as large, expensive boxes, therapy lights have come a long way. Historically used for seasonal depression due to diminishing sunlight in winter, they generally improve mood, boost energy, and reduce anxiety for all. Ranging from compact to floor lamp, therapy lights are about to become your new best friend.

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]]><![CDATA[Your Core: The Big Four]]>https://www.reframedself.com/p/your-core-the-big-four-266e0754ede2https://www.reframedself.com/p/your-core-the-big-four-266e0754ede2Mon, 17 Dec 2018 23:16:27 GMT

REFRAMED is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.

If you spend any time with me in therapy, I’ll tell you about my theo…

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