Wonderful, yes, and the interesting thing is that codependency can obviously come from a dicey childhood, but I think it also gets woven into the fabric of being a woman. We are often made responsible for other people's feelings.
There is so much goodness here. I read the book Codependent No More in my (ahem) 20s.
One of the things my therapist really helped me understand, the child can do nothing to control the parent's dysfunction, so they take on the responsibility because then at least they can do something.
And I'm working on making friends with discomfort; if not friends at least tolerable acquaintance. lol
Exactly! I love Pia Melody’s take on codependency as well (she’s different from Melody Beattie). We adapt to our circumstances and when those change, we have new opportunities.
Yes I used to look at the whole thing as a flaw, rather than my trusty kit of adaptive survival tools. When I approach it from that angle things are less black and white.
Laura, thanks for this excellent essay. This is a great example of something appearing just as I need it. Your words of wisdom about taking on other people’s stuff is exactly what I’ve been trying to figure out about myself so this is very helpful.
Wonderful, yes, and the interesting thing is that codependency can obviously come from a dicey childhood, but I think it also gets woven into the fabric of being a woman. We are often made responsible for other people's feelings.
Agreed. We end up keeping relationships together but sometimes through enabling. We can be models for other.
Childhood's a bitch.
There is so much goodness here. I read the book Codependent No More in my (ahem) 20s.
One of the things my therapist really helped me understand, the child can do nothing to control the parent's dysfunction, so they take on the responsibility because then at least they can do something.
And I'm working on making friends with discomfort; if not friends at least tolerable acquaintance. lol
Exactly! I love Pia Melody’s take on codependency as well (she’s different from Melody Beattie). We adapt to our circumstances and when those change, we have new opportunities.
Yes I used to look at the whole thing as a flaw, rather than my trusty kit of adaptive survival tools. When I approach it from that angle things are less black and white.
Laura, thanks for this excellent essay. This is a great example of something appearing just as I need it. Your words of wisdom about taking on other people’s stuff is exactly what I’ve been trying to figure out about myself so this is very helpful.
Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m glad it was helpful ❤️